after Jane Dougherty
…last night’s tide left weed in lines and crescents. Pufferfish corpses and plastics (pineapple juice tetra-pak, drinking straw, a strawberry condom wrapper, bottle top, chocolate bar, kids toys, take-away containers and more) thaw on the sand…the moon in cream and watercolour mottle balances on the stink pipe…they’re putting lights at this intersection (just last month another crash and that woman) The site is cordoned in high-vis fluoro…runner pounds up the hill dragging her ferocious Pomeranian, his little claws skitter on the pavement, relentless yap…mist gone from the lagoon and the pelicans are fishing en la flotilla: paddle, paddle, paddle and under together: frogs, prawns, fingerlings hoovered into indiscriminate gullets…he leans against the seawall hacking a lung. ‘Water still warm?’ I ask. ‘Ain’t been in yet.’ Toothless he grins the obvious…stands on the edge, waves coming on like houses.
…and the moon has set behind the escarpment of an ordinary day…dog leads me home.
season’s first frost
spangles the early light
grasses crackle underfoot.
& after erasure:
tide crescents and moon mottle;
little claws finger the obvious ordinary day.
My morgenspaziergang. A haibun written for dverse where Bjorn is hosting and asks us to go for a ‘walk’. Jane Dougherty introduced me to erasing the haibun. And here’s outlaw Paul Cauthen with Everybody’s Walking this Land.
Peter Frankis writes 
Great mood creation.
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Thanks – it was a moody morning.
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Your haibun has reminded me that I must go down to the sea again – it’s only a short drive away. I’ve been so busy with NaPoWriMo. I love that opening sentence: ‘last night’s tide left weed in lines and crescents’. I don’t think we have quite as much jetsam on our beaches, and we definitely don’t find pufferfish corpses, although we did once find a dead porpoise.What a view you have, though: ‘mist gone from the lagoon and the pelicans are fishing en la flotilla’ – and the haiku is gorgeous!
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Thanks so much. After 20 years living inland, I’m a bit head over heels with mother ocean now that she’s just down the road (the dog is also a big fan).
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I love this, Peter! The haibun has the rhythm of the ocean (with all its litter) and the erased poem is a lovely condensation of it.
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I love how you start with the grittiness of litter until you raise your eyes to the waves … this is a poet’s walk, finding the poem in trash and then refine it again… love it.
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For some reason the Pomeranian adds an additional dimension to this fantastic haibun, and the erasure, well, I’m a fan of erasure and found poetry. Yours is perfection. Nicely done, Peter.
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Thanks so much, the Pomeranian is a character alright, you can hear him coming blocks away – and he’s ready to take on any dog he encounters – regardless of size or disposition – heart of a lion.
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I like it how the dog leads you home. I remember how mine used to do that many decades ago.
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I love the feel of the crackle of frost underfoot! Great story!
Dwight
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Thanks Dwight – it’s odd writing autumnal contemplative verse, while most northerners are kicking their heels at spring’s new blush.
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It can still get crackly a little further north through the month of April! I guess it goes both ways, when your seasons change!
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This was a vivid portrait of a late autumn Aussie evening.I especially liked the curt exchange between you and the toothless grin.
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How wonderfully vivid your write of your early morning walk with your dog. So well done.
Anna :o]
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Thanks so much Anna – the haibun is always such fun.
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Pufferfish corpses would be quite a sight. I like the mixture of items swept upon the shore ….each would have it’s own story.
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The pufferfish were grey spiky torpedo shaped and huge; each plastic had it’s own history, but by then, sadly, it had all become part of a tragedy.
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I enjoyed the ordinary day familiarity and the dog taking the lead in this walk.
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Love the idea of erasure for the haibun. I’ll have to try it. Also enjoyed the walk with you and your dog. “…waves … like houses…” Favorite line!
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Thanks so much Sarah, the brilliant Jane Dougherty gets credit for erasure haibun.
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