[this looks so much better on my site]

• Consolidate all necessary paperwork (tickets, visas, vouchers) into robust fiche to be carried on person at all times.
• Hair, beard and other facial hair to approximate that of passport photo.
• Duplicate door keys (front and rear).
• Re-read Homer and ponder Odysseus’ seventeen-year journey home after the Trojan war.
• Check tyre pressure, particularly offside rear.
• Master six useful Spanish phrases:
  • What time is it? ¿Qué hora es?
  • It’s early: Es temprano
  • Go back to sleep: Acuéstese y volver a dormir
  • This lady will pay for everything: Esta dama pagará todo
  • and so on.
• Purchases: hat (crushable), charcoal colour.
• Master street photography to capture vivid blues in Essaouira, deep ochres of Sahara and green lawns of El Retiro in Madrid in anticipation of daily photographic postings and entertaining slideshow/dinner parties post-return.
• Disable Microsoft spell checker on all poetics.
• Organise automatic payment for expected invoices.
• Swim twenty laps daily until embarkation; run 1.5 kilometres daily until embarkation; complete daily bracing callisthenics program until embarkation.
• Reduce saturated fats in diet and practice abstaining from alcohol for longer and longer periods.
• Read all relevant travel advisories and subscribe to English language news feeds.
• Update will, advise executors and subscribe to go-fund-me campaign (just in case).
• Grasp recent history of Morocco (last 20 years or so), the heroic anti-colonial efforts of the Berber people as well as the socio-political reforms of current head of state King Mohammed VI.
• Purchases: appropriate winter clothing (crushable and compact); appropriate summer clothing (breezy and cheerful).
• Ensure supply of benzodiazepines (for plane), anti-diarrhoeals, sunscreen, lip balm, paracetamol, ibuprofen, anti-histamines, bottled water, sterile gauze swabs (1 pack, assorted sizes), compression bandages, syringes and surgical implements (mixed).
• Complete first aid course.
• Complete breathing underwater course.
• Review locations of consulates, major hospitals and first aid posts vis-a-vis daily itinerary.
• Interview potential house-sitters, check bona fides and quiz referees for any conflicts of interest.
• Redirect mail.
• Pack three shirts – one grey, one black, one white.
• Prepare list of daily questions for tour guide during bus trip into desert.
• Order DVD of Flight of the Phoenix (1965) starring James Stewart, Richard Attenborough and Hardy Kruger.
• Become familiar with process for extracting water from a bucket and plastic sheet laid over the sand while resting during the heat of the day.
• Get ready.

***

Image – Mirage of the desert, Popular Science Monthly Volume 5 (1874)
You may also enjoy…To-Do List by Simon Armitage, New Yorker, Jan 5, 2015