On the northern express

My friend shared a recurrent dream. She’d dreamt this off and on for nearly twenty years, long before she travelled on the northern express. She’s alone on a platform with two large suitcases as the train pulls up. The time to embark is short and she realises the suitcases are too heavy to get both onto the train in time. So she unpacks one, trying to make enough room for the essential stuff, the things she can’t bear to leave behind. But of course in the way dreams recur, the single suitcase is now too full and won’t shut—the straps snap, the latches misfire. Things, a favourite dress, poems she’s been working on, that photograph of her sister, spill out and are snatched away by the wind. And time is running out. The train doors slam, the brakes release and slowly at first but definitely now the train begins to move.

I mention this only because on the northern express, the same scene was repeated again and again by people with overfull shopping bags or saggy cardboard boxes. There was one family who nearly didn’t make it: the mother swaddled a newborn while shouldering her backpack; the father had a backpack, a front satchel, two shopping bags and a sleeping roll and herded two grizzly five-year-olds, each trailing their own luggage, towards the exit. The conductor had to hold the train.

Most people manage, except the old guy in the seat in front of me. He explained about a recent shoulder reconstruction as he fished for his pack on the parcel shelf with his walking stick. I offered to help but he muscled it down on his own and wincing slung it over his shoulder. A wan farewell and then he hobbled off down the aisle. I saw him pushing his walker slowly along the platform as we moved off. Later at the terminus I noticed that he’d left his leather hat behind. Life is a process of acquiring and then sloughing off stuff until we walk again bare headed in the world.  

we move at ground level
at sea level 
the tracks run out
onto the sand
sky arches over

At Gosford, Jasmine took the seat next to me. She was travelling to Wauchope, where her Mum would meet her. They’d spend the weekend together and she would fly back on Monday. She was well-prepared for the trip and after these brief pleasantries, slipped on her headphones to watch a reality show called ‘Love is Blind’ on her tablet. Occasionally I’d sneak a look at her screen. This episode involved fit young women and men lounging about poolside, drinking from silver goblets and flirting with each other while ignoring the camera crew and the sound guy leaning in to catch a whisper. Set ups and let downs were everywhere: partners came on to strangers, were unfaithful, and later couples confronted each other, argued and tearfully cancelled their engagement. The episode that Jasmine had downloaded came with subtitles and these formed a kind of haiku chorus to the action on screen: poolside [incomprehensible chatter]; back at the couple’s room [sobbing and sniffles]; alone in the corridor [emotional music rising]. 

Broadmeadow
sun dazzles between factories
corrugated blues and greens
walls of post-industrial rust

——

Each station more beautiful
summer palaces and fishing boats
billboards and quarries 
intensified—
already the shadows deepen

We travel through time in armchairs. Daylight shifts from midday to a bright afternoon where colours are bleached, the shadows absolute. Then as the light slowly eases the buildings and ridgelines become more and more beautiful. Even ugly things—a blackberry bramble over a car wreck, a creek strangled with lantana, an abandoned warehouse half falling down—become splendid in this golden painterly light; the young mum pushing a pram along the platform at this hour looks like Botticelli’s Madonna. 

And then, as if it fell off a cliff, the day is gone and with it the landscape. Now there’s just looming shadows and our reflections mirrored in the cabin windows. The train rushes on past a vacant station, traffic crossings, a farmhouse. 

the empty platform
it’s late and the drunks
are rowdy in utes 
I climb the hill with my suitcase
the hotel like a furnace

Image: Ribbons by Michael Greenhill on Flickr. A haibun-like piece on a recent train journey – with audio (just for fun – the music loop c/- setunian on freesound.org).

Here, you can book your own tickets on the Northern Express (travels between Sydney and Brisbane, though when I travelled the train only got as far as the border and coaches took passengers the rest of the way into Brisbane) For those of you interested, here’s more about Love is Blind.

And for music this morning, who else but Dylan with his own take on the northern express with Slow Train. (Youtube) from his 1979 album (Youtube) of the same name.

In the graveyard – a haibun (with audio)

Recently, while photographing in Wollongong Cemetery, I met a woman who used to be in the ‘industry’ and we started talking. As an ex-funeral director, she pointed out those she’d put in here: one over there, a couple further back. Even family members, a cousin, an uncle by the fence. Not her husband though, he’s buried elsewhere.

Since he’d passed, she’s been touring the country with her friend looking at cemeteries. I asked what she was searching for but all she said was, ‘I just like them, they’re peaceful.’ They’ve even visited Western Australian graveyards, tooling across the Nullarbor in their Daihatsu hatchback with purple wire wheels. 

          Graves, grandiose black
          marble and a patch of lawn 
          for the stillborn babes.

Originally established on the outskirts, over the last hundred years the city has grown to surround the cemetery. Light industry on one side, housing and a high school on the other; it takes effort to block out road noise and the clanking of a backhoe being unloaded.

          Flowers and tended plots 
          then Ryan’s pine cross—ten years
          and still no headstone.

We talk about masonry styles, urns and torches, the broken column of a life cut short. She points to the earliest part of the cemetery dating back to the 1850s, now an enclave behind the courier depot and the indoor sports centre. Aside from the trees, we’re the only ones breathing in all this crowd. 

          I have no graves 
          Dad’s ashes off Fremantle
          a bloom in deep water.


Image: the old section of Wollongong Cemetery. I hope you like the reading of this piece.

And for music this morning here’s Irish folk/country singer Brigid Mae Power with her song I’ll wait outside for you (Youtube) from her new album Dream from the Deep Well.

on the path to the shore, a haibun

I’d not been down it for a year, not since the dog’s arthritis got worse. It was a cunning way. From an unpromising corner of a municipal lawn, a steep descent into wilderness, a few blind turns, then some scrubground where the dog can go off lead looking for fox and the black snake, an eastern whip bird right there in the casuarinas. 

Today it’s so overgrown it barely exists. Morning glory, lantana, bittou bush and coastal banksia have closed over—it’s as impenetrable as paradise. Crouch thru low doors and tunnels, feet deep in weeds and puddles, the green rained-on vegetation like a shroud over what promise there is in the day.

All its history gone: schoolkids, dog walkers, shoplifters fleeing security guards, masturbators in their groves, workers with their lunch pails taking the back route down to the plant, and men like me, huffing up and down hills, determined to stave off the heart-attack that’ll inevitably take us too early. 

(My ex-wife jokes about what a buff corpse I’ll leave.)

Surely there’s some wisdom about paths needing to be used, remade by walkers lest they vanish?

At last that engine the sea—the grey rollers full throttle against the rockshelf, spray snatched away by the southerly. The remains of the swimming pool built in the twenties to keep the kids and the sharks apart—rafts of twigs and plastic. 

Gone also that house. It had occupied this block for more than 100 years, with a nice aspect to the pool and the yawn of the beach. Lead-light windows, curated succulents in coffee tins up the front steps. I imagined the dark of the sitting room, a photo of her son in his uniform on the mantle, the chime of the clock on the quarter hour, a tabby on the sofa sniffing the day. 

How quickly houses become meadows. And meadows become houses. Surely there’s some Buddhist sutra about impermanence and abandonment?

bleached shell
tossed on this midden
five thousand years ago
just yesterday  

Image: Lounge chair, Port Kembla. And for music today here’s Australian musician and multi-instrumentalist Oren Ambarchi with his solo album Shebang (Youtube). And if you’re wondering what a shebang is, start here

Here’s a PDF for those having trouble reading this…